“I don’t think we are going to make it” I whispered, then crumpled into tears.
Marriage takes work y’all, a lot of work. Rob and I had gotten to the point where we just didn’t care. We weren’t even fighting or arguing with each other. That night is so vivd in my memory and it was a wake up call for both of us.
We were thoroughly exhausted raising babies, trying to make sure Carter didn’t catch any illness’ that might kill him, on different schedules, stressed out, constantly worried, overwhelmed, and we weren’t taking time for what was important, our marriage. Our relationship was sorely suffering and we had lost our zeal to fight. We were simply going through the motions, each contributing about 50%. Our communication was broken, the fun was missing, and we didn’t know how to stop what seemed like a snowball rolling faster and faster trying to envelope our marriage.
That night hard words were spoken and heard, tears were shed, priorities were shifted, and lives were changed. It suddenly became crystal clear to me that our marriage wasn’t divorce proof. We had gotten to this place so quickly because we had become comfortable and started slacking in focusing on our relationship and striving for better and better. It was that night I fully realized and understood that marriage isn’t 50-50%, it is 100-100%. Each partner should be striving to give 100% to the marriage.
When I look back at that time, I see two fiercely independent broken individuals who found out doing this marriage thing TOGETHER is far better than trying to make it work on our own. Keeping God at the center, and actually making time for each other are important ways we keep our marriage happy. Rob is definitely my person and I want to grow old and grey with him. We promised so many years ago, to love and to cherish each other, and that’s what we try to do each and every day.
Twenty-twenty was a different year for sure. Around March, life as we knew it changed, and everything I had planned for 2020 kind of went out the window. I had to go back and look to see what my word for 2020 was because it completely escaped my mind and my life.
When everything that was “normal” became obsolete, I turned inward and completely focused on my children, making sure they had the most “normal” year I could possibly give them. I also put my normal to the side and we focused on family relationships, making memories, creating lasting bonds, and living life simple. Looking back it wasn’t a terrible year, but I think I let the chaos of the year dictate more in life than I realized. Twenty-twenty was not a year of great accomplishments, bursts of hustle and momentum, big business goals, or anything flashy. It was more like a quiet year of healing, resting, and being in the moment. It also feels to me that it was a year of smallness. I don’t know if that makes sense to y’all, since you are not in my brain, but that’s the word that keeps coming back to my mind.
A few weekends ago, as I was meditating and praying, I was strongly convicted of the lack of generosity that had seeped into my life. I think the uncertainty of 2020 made me clench my hands a little, blocking both the gift of giving and the gift of receiving. Rob is a giver by nature, I’m a giver because I learned a very valuable lesson 8 years ago about giving. I learned that you don’t give until it hurts but you give out of the generosity of your heart. I think all of the chaos of the year, being distanced from others, and the uncertainty of everything, created a fear that I didn’t recognize until recently.
As this realization struck me, the words Intentional Generosity also came to my mind and heart. That doesn’t just mean monetary but generosity in all aspects of life. I want to live life generously. How is that going to help shape my actions for 2021? How can I intentionally show generosity to other’s? My parents were both givers and my mom’s parents were too, so I saw it modeled my entire childhood. I want to make sure my kids see that giving is an action we choose to participate in. I want them to have a giving spirit and heart. I want to model that attitude of generosity to them. I’m still praying for God to reveal ways that we can be generous to others, and I’m bursting with ideas and ways that we as a family and individually, can be intentional in our generosity.
2020 started out with such high hopes and a specific direction I planned to take in my life, you would think I could learn that lesson about letting God be in total control. 2020 is now ending as one of the strangest years I have ever lived with almost none of what I expected to happen occur. Personally it wasn’t a bad year, just strange. Business wise, NOTHING went the way I envisioned. But, that’s ok because throughout this year we as a family rested in the presence of each other and bonds were strengthened.
Rob and I had a goal for 2020 to become debt free, except for the rental property mortgages, and we accomplished that. Having normal travel cut MAJORLY certainly helped it happen quicker than we had anticipated. I’m excited about this because as Dave Ramsey says, “Being debt free allows you to be stupid generous” and that is an area I’m excited to explore in 2021. We were able to expand our rental portfolio. We purchased, updated, and rented out two more houses. I hit some extreme lows with the crazy real estate market, coming in second on numerous offers that we put in on houses. I learned that trusting God to provide us with the best houses for our business is the easiest route to go.
We slowed down majorly this year and took in more outdoor adventures than normal. We spent a large amount of time at the lake and tent camping oceanside. The children tried their hand at surfing, we chased sunrises and sunsets, and laid out on the beach and driveway watching metro showers. We watched rocket launches, saw the International Space Shuttle zoom by overhead, took in the beauty of the Blue Moon, saw the Bethlehem Star, and spent more time star gazing than we ever have.
Mia went on her first cross country solo, well with my mom, adventure in February. She loved every single minute and came back with stories galore. She often talks of returning to Colorado and living part time with my brother and sister-in-law. She still has a strong love for babies and helping out in anyway she can around the house. She is capable and independent and pretty much ready for her own apartment, her words, not mine. Mia also spent the majority of 2020 upside down apparently. 😆
Eva started high school this year, shot up to the height of 5’8 and isn’t done growing yet. She continues to play lots of softball, creates beautiful artwork, and started her own jewelry making business in September. Watching her navigate the highs and lows of being a business owner has been interesting but she has risen to the challenge. She has started looking at potential colleges, and I am left wondering what the heck happened to my tiny little baby girl. She learned how to drive the boat and jet ski this summer. She spent a lot of quality time with me and Mia hanging out doing girly things.
Carter continues to love any type of water, the outdoors, and games that include strategic play. He is super analytical and sees life as black and white, right or wrong. He is so smart and continues to work on his speech daily. We see him overcoming obstacles every single day. This summer he learned the art of catching fish in a hand held net, he learned that it takes LOTS of patience. He can submerge under water for over two minutes while waiting for the fish to come and nibble whatever goodies might be in the net. He would often catch 5-6 fish a day. He learned to overcome some of his fears and to trust us when we asked him to. He left the single digits behind this year, making me hold on to all of my children and the years I have them in my home just a little tighter.
Rob and I celebrated fifteen years of marriage in August. We took a little getaway to the mountains for a few days and had a lot of fun. We spent copious amounts of time together this year driving each other crazy working on sooooo many projects and falling in love a little bit more each day. We threw an epic surprise 70th birthday party for my mama with almost all of my siblings, spouses and girlfriend, and nieces and nephews present. It was probably the best moments of this year. My mom is pretty special and celebrating her was so much fun!!
2020, you weren’t what I expected, but you weren’t completely terrible! Here’s to a fresh new year with God in control of everything that happens!
“While they were in Bethlehem, the time came for the baby to be born. And Mary gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in the manager because there was no room for them at the inn.” Luke 2:6-7
A couple of years ago I really started to embrace the whole idea of really celebrating Christmas. For years I was so jaded about the commercialism of it all that it made me cringe when December rolled around. But you know what, I determine how my family celebrates and what we decide to focus on. By choosing to celebrate the birth of our Savior and really focus on that, my Christmas joy returned and I now look forward to all the wonderful aspects of this time of the year.
I absolutely love decking my rooms out with Christmas decor, some traditional and some that carry our family flare. I love sitting in my home at night, with a warm cup of tea, soaking in the lights, the smells, and the silence of the night. There is something magical about each room as the light outside fades and the Christmas lights start to twinkle and shine bright. A wave of contentment washes over me almost every single night and I fall in love with Christmas a little bit more.
Family traditions are created, and some carried on during this time of the year. Foods “labeled” as Christmas food start leaving my kitchen. My kids love helping me bake all kinds of goodies and then visiting people with special Christmas treats and a little Christmas cheer. Bible reading through the book of Luke or Matthew to remember the reason we celebrate. Piling into the car and yellowing, “Christmas” every time we see Christmas lights.
Special chaucertier board for Christmas Eve dinner before the candle light Christmas Eve service, my most favorite Christmas tradition ever! Happy giggles and laughs as my children open their Christmas Eve present. Loud protests as we send them to bed and their “threats” of being up before the crack of down the following morning. A slow morning of opening gifts, playing with new “toys”, and cooking a special Christmas ham dinner. This season is filled with Joy and Happiness, family and friends, Love and Laughter. It is special, magical, and memorable. Christmas Time, it’s the most wonderful time of the year!
“On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Matthew 2:11
Every Thanksgiving my mom’s side of the family would come to our house and we would spend the entire afternoon feasting, playing, and talking. Our family would gather around in the big living room after our Thanksgiving meal and my grandmother would start by sharing what she was thankful for. The rest of the uncles, aunts, and cousins would then follow suit until it came to the last person, the patriarch of the family, my papa.
I can so vividly see papa move up to the edge of his seat, fold his hands, close his eyes, and bow his head in thanksgiving prayer. Not a person stirred or a baby cried while papa was giving thanks to God for all of the many blessings he had poured out on his family. I loved to hear my papa pray. He would come so humbly before God, a soft voice, and talk to him in reverence but as one who had a real relationship with his heavenly father. That tradition of giving thanks with the entire family has been carried on to our family. When we meet together at my mom’s, we all go around and share what we are thankful for. It’s a day of eating, laughing, and playing, but it is also a day of true thankfulness and reflection.
When Rob and I first got married, he asked that I fix Stove Top stuffing and cheese balls. I asked him why cheese balls, because in my mind that was something eaten at Christmas time, but he replied, “It’s what my grandmother always had for us to eat before our Thanksgiving meal.” So cheese ball it is at our house pre-thanksgiving and post thanksgiving dinner. I must say, it’s a pretty yummy tradition to have too!
Family traditions are important to me because they allow us to remember those who have gone before and reflect on happy memories, and, they help us create more memories.
I try to spend the month of November really focusing on what I am thankful for. As a family we count our blessings and work on having attitudes of gratitude. I think this is a perfect time of the year to do this since we are heading into winter, a time of the year where I sometimes struggle with feelings of gratitude.
There is so much to be thankful, even in times like these. Counting your blessings, I do it by journaling, is a great way to see how God is providing for your needs every single day. Living in gratitude creates less room for negativity. Do you know how hard it is to focus on the negative when you are literally counting your blessings? I would encourage everyone to read the book “1,000 Gifts.”
Things that I am especially thankful for this year include the ability to change and adapt. The ability to find joy in the simplest aspects of life. This past spring and summer we had to get creative in our adventures, but our summer was so much fun! It included tons of great memories and tons of family togetherness. We worked on simplicity and I was amazed at how much we really didn’t need. We did a lot of camping this year and spent pretty much the entire summer out doors near water.
This year I have had a deeper appreciation for our church. I love that our leadership will stand up for what they believe is right. I love that they have made the hard decisions and they have guided us the way that they feel the spirit leading. I am thankful for the stand they have taken on matters our country is facing. I am thankful that we worship and serve alongside so many wonderful people.
I am thankful for my kids. The older they get the more fun we seem to have together. My mom always said she just loved having teenagers, and I feel like I am understanding this more and more. My kids are so much fun! I am thankful for my girls, for the laughs we share, the talks we have, and relationship that we have with each other. I am thankful for Carter and dynamic that he brings to our family. I love his sense of humor and hearing his belly laugh when he gets to laughing.
Happy Thanksgiving friends! Be safe, be happy, and be thankful.
Last fall when I started feeling really sick and was FREEZING cold all the time, I knew I needed to find some answers and I knew some lifestyle adjustments would have to happen. Then, In December when my face started swelling up randomly for days at a time and the doctors had no answers this simply reinforced those thoughts. All the doctors could tell me was to monitor what I was eating, wearing, and who I was seeing. They offered steroids but no real solution.
My naturopath finally gave me answers after running some tests and sitting down to really talk with me. She also whipped my butt into gear to help me kick my sweet tooth to the curb. Coffee and chocolate were wreaking havoc on my body. My hormones were completely unbalanced, my adrenal function was almost non existent and I had a hypothyroid, which is why I was freezing cold all the time.
Smoothies again became a big part of our life. Your food intake plays a HUGE role on your health. That means feeding your body real food is essential to good health. My daughter Mia is the queen of smoothies y’all and eats them 2-3 times a day. Green smoothies are her favorite, and serving other’s is one of her gifts, so when she makes herself a smoothie she always offers to make enough for everyone.
To keep smoothie making easy and quick we keep fruit cut up ready to go in the freezer. And I try to always have some type of organic greens on hand. Some of the fruit that is typically available in the freezer are bananas that I will flash freeze then throw into a bag. In the summer time we pick strawberries and blueberries to have those throughout the year for smoothies. I also cut up peaches, apples, mangoes, and pineapple. Finding a fruit to greens combo that you enjoy makes eating smoothies the bomb dot com.
Mia’s favorite smoothie combo is as follows 3 big handful’s of organic spinach 1 1/2 frozen bananas 1/2 cup frozen mangos 2 pineapple cores or 1/2 cup frozen pineapple 1/2 cup frozen strawberries 1/2 cup cold water.
Place all of the ingredients into your blender and blend well. Serve immediately with fresh fruit as a garnish, if you like being fancy.
When I first started blogging I was a new mama, living in a new town, newly married, going through heavy grief, and simply trying to survive life. It was a lot of adjustments for someone who hates change. So I started blogging as a way to journal my every day but it also served as therapy to my soul. I needed an outlet and my blog provided that.
As I adjusted to this new normal, and added more babies to my life, I used my blog as a way to remember some of those hazy sleep deprived days that I knew I would forever cherish later in life. A lot of my blogging revolved around my children and as they became older they started telling me it was embarrassing to them when people talked to them about things I had blogged about. They asked that I not write stories about them any more. I wanted to respect their privacy and if writing about them made them feel uncomfortable I certainly didn’t want that.
So I changed what I wrote about and then eventually stopped blogging. I started writing other things instead for my health and wellness business because I love writing and I didn’t want to stop all together. When our lives turned topsy turvy this year, writing became really hard and I completely stopped. It was as if that creative part of my life just up and left. It’s hard to explain but it felt like a death. No matter how hard I tried, there was nothing there to write.
The other day when I was thinking about what brings me joy, words just started flowing through my mind and heart. I would go to bed thinking of things to write, and, I would wake up thinking of stories to share. It was like that part of my life suddenly woke up. So here I am. Blogging again, with the full permission of my children’s, and excited to share my small part of the world with you.
When I found out I was having a girl I was TERRIFIED! Nothing about my life was girly and I felt like I would never be able to relate to a daughter if she loved fancy dresses, baby dolls, and pink fluff. I thought for sure Eva was a boy and was shocked when the sonographer said, “Congratulations, you’re having a little girl.”
As if one girl wasn’t enough, God decided to bless me with a second daughter. One who happens to be the epitome of girly. Today, as my daughters and I were talking, shopping, laughing, and creating lifelong bonds, I was overcome with thankfulness that I was chosen to be their mother. I was chosen to raise these precious girls of mine. The blessing of raising girls to women is not something I take lightly. Raising daughters in todays world can sometimes feel scary and overwhelming, but I am so glad I have been given this opportunity.
As my girls are becoming older, their individual personalities are becoming more and more pronounced. It’s something that is both super fun to watch and completely crazy to see. I see so much of Rob in Eva and so much of myself in Mia. As a parent I try to honor each of my children’s personalities and parent each child to their strengths, which makes things interesting at times. I try to focus on what makes them unique as individuals and what makes them tick the way they do. What approach do they learn from and respond to the best? How do I teach them without crushing their spirit?
I might have been terrified when I first learned that I was having girls, but lord knows, God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with these two. Life with girls is just so sweet.
One area that I am still kind of new to, is being more creative in what I put in our salads. I am that girl who doesn’t like my food to touch on the plate, so piling a ton of different food into a bowl and calling it salad just went against every part of my being. However, once I tasted how delicious it actually is, well the rest is pretty much history. I have been adding “strange” stuff to our salad for a while now and I just can’t stop!
The other day I re-created the kale, quinoa citrus beet salad that you can get at Panera Bread, and, “wow, it was yum-o!” It was so good and filling without having that over the top so stuffed I can’t move feeling. Kale greens make a great salad, you just need to give them a little attention. So wash your kale and then massage the leaves for about 5 minutes. This helps to break them down, makes them a little softer, and easier to digest. We wrap our kale in a clean towel and knead it like you would bread dough. At this point I also do a quick pickle to my beets, meaning I dice them and pour Braggs Apple Cider vinegar over the top. This is going to give them a nice tangy flavor and add some acid to the salad which helps break the kale down even more.
While the quinoa is cooking you can whip up an easy homemade vinaigrette. Cut 2-3 oranges into segments and squeeze the juice out of the membrane and center of the orange into a small bowl. Next, finely dice some red onion and mince garlic. Add those to the orange juice. I also add 5 drops of orange vitality essential oil and 2 drops of black pepper vitality essential oil. The essential oils give another great layer of flavor because they are so concentrated. You can either use red wine vinegar or a nice aged balsamic vinegar and some olive oil. I just eyeball it, keeping in mind that the vinegar from my pickled beets will also be going onto the salad
Once the quinoa has finished cooking and I have added cranberries, orange juice, and red onion, I assemble my salad. I use mostly kale greens, but I like to add in a small handful of spring salad too. Next place a good amount of quinoa onto the greens, add the pickled beets with the juices, place some orange segments on top, put a handful of feta cheese on next, and a sprinkling of pecans or pumpkin seeds, and finally, top off with the vinaigrette.
This salad is light, but filling, quick, but delicious, simple to make, but loaded with flavor. And, bonus, it’s packed with great vitamins and nutrients!
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